I wonder how often the Lord gets frustrated with us. I mean, I know how often I get frustrated with my son and when I sit back and think about it...God must get pretty frustrated with me.
My son will do things that he knows will push my buttons. He yells at me...usually when I have yelled at him first! Whines and whines and whines...until I just want to shove a whole block of cheese down his throat. He asks me questions incessantly, about everything...mostly things I don't even really care about. And sometimes it just gets to be too much and I just want to lock myself in the closet or bathroom or my car and turn music up really loud and block it out!
As a mother, I'm trying to love my son (and daughter) like the Lord loves us all...but it is soooooo hard. I feel that being a mother is truly my calling in this time of my life, but I struggle with it. Not with my children, but with myself. I have a horrible temper that drives me into depression, and self-isolation. It makes me know want to be around my family because "they" might do something to upset me. I know, after much self-examination, that I am the one who upsets myself. I set myself up for disappointment trying to make everything perfect in my eyese.
In the midst of my emotional break down - and they happen way too often, but getting better - I hear that voice. You know the voice...comes like a whisper, at first and then is yelling at you...telling me that I am perfect! I am wonderful and beautiful and smart and a great mom and all those wonderful things that you want to hear. I remember that God created me to be this person...and mother and wife and that it's my duty to be who he wants me to be!
I think God's frustration comes from us not listening when he's talking. I think he's sad when we don't do what we should, but when he's YELLING at us and we CHOOSE to ignore Him, that must make him crazy. EXACTLY how it makes mothers and fathers crazy when their kids do the same thing!
When we listen to that little voice (or yelling one), when we take it in and make it part of our daily lives will find satisfaction in our lives, we will be fearless! We can be free to do what God has planned for us!
"What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?"Romans 8:31
Let frustration fall by the wayside by God's boundless love!
Monday, June 6, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Mourning and Comfort
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." This is one of the Beattitudes from Jesus' sermon on the mount. I never thought about what it truly meant until recently...more like a little over a year ago when my mother passed away.
I know that is has been a while since I lasted posted. I was so gung-ho about blogging! Thought it would be a great release for me! But this past year has been the best and worst for me. It's hard to believe that I've survived it, that my family has survived and come out on the other side better for it. That's all because of our constant faith in the Lord, that he will provide comfort to us mourners and I call on him everyday for strength in that matter!
On Sunday, March 28, 2010, my father called to tell me that my mother had died. I felt my world implode. How in the world do you deal with something that seems so fictional!?! We all knew that my mother was sick, but thought that she was getting better. It was a shock, but I am a firm believer that when you have done your "duty" on the earth, the Lord takes you...my mother had done whatever it is she was suppose to do and is now waiting peacefully for Jesus' return.
On February 4th of this year, our beautiful little girl, Anniah June Odoms (June, named for my mother) was born. Throughout my pregnancy, I had bouts of depression about me not having my mother to share this with (she had been with me every step of the way through my first). I struggled constantly about the day I would give birth and not have her come in to celebrate with me! I ended up having to have c-section and when that baby girl was brought to me, the joy I felt didn't leave any room for depression or sadness.
Looking back on the first year without my mom, I am reminded of our Lord's boundless love. He did not take away my sadness, but filled me with blessings so there was no room for the darkness that could have consumed me. I had a little boy and a husband to fill my life and when I was laid of from my job, they became my focus. I didn't stress about money because my husband was offered a position that paid quite a bit more and my brother and father helped us out as well! I had the pregnancy to keep me busy! I had wonderful friends and family to help keep my mind occupied. There were so many "things" to fill me, but I also knew that they were all provided by the God. He was comforting me the way He knew I needed to be.
Don't get me wrong, there are days that I miss my mom so much it hurts. But the Lord does not let me dwell there very long. I look to Him through prayer and he comforts me. He fills me. He keeps me safe. He reminds me that I will be with my mother when He wills it. And until then I will find peace in the blessings that He has provided.
"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." John 16:33
Be comforted by the boundless love of God. Blessings!
I know that is has been a while since I lasted posted. I was so gung-ho about blogging! Thought it would be a great release for me! But this past year has been the best and worst for me. It's hard to believe that I've survived it, that my family has survived and come out on the other side better for it. That's all because of our constant faith in the Lord, that he will provide comfort to us mourners and I call on him everyday for strength in that matter!
On Sunday, March 28, 2010, my father called to tell me that my mother had died. I felt my world implode. How in the world do you deal with something that seems so fictional!?! We all knew that my mother was sick, but thought that she was getting better. It was a shock, but I am a firm believer that when you have done your "duty" on the earth, the Lord takes you...my mother had done whatever it is she was suppose to do and is now waiting peacefully for Jesus' return.
On February 4th of this year, our beautiful little girl, Anniah June Odoms (June, named for my mother) was born. Throughout my pregnancy, I had bouts of depression about me not having my mother to share this with (she had been with me every step of the way through my first). I struggled constantly about the day I would give birth and not have her come in to celebrate with me! I ended up having to have c-section and when that baby girl was brought to me, the joy I felt didn't leave any room for depression or sadness.
Looking back on the first year without my mom, I am reminded of our Lord's boundless love. He did not take away my sadness, but filled me with blessings so there was no room for the darkness that could have consumed me. I had a little boy and a husband to fill my life and when I was laid of from my job, they became my focus. I didn't stress about money because my husband was offered a position that paid quite a bit more and my brother and father helped us out as well! I had the pregnancy to keep me busy! I had wonderful friends and family to help keep my mind occupied. There were so many "things" to fill me, but I also knew that they were all provided by the God. He was comforting me the way He knew I needed to be.
Don't get me wrong, there are days that I miss my mom so much it hurts. But the Lord does not let me dwell there very long. I look to Him through prayer and he comforts me. He fills me. He keeps me safe. He reminds me that I will be with my mother when He wills it. And until then I will find peace in the blessings that He has provided.
"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." John 16:33
Be comforted by the boundless love of God. Blessings!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
